Marriage is a gamble. It all depends on the couple that how well they play the game. How well the couple manages to sail through the initial obstacles of marriage life, how much adjustments and sacrifices are they ready to make will decide the durability of the marriage.
In any marriage two individuals from altered backgrounds, mental makeup, personality attributes, with two different identities tie a bond so the conflicts and clashes of ideas, customs and visions is bound to be there but the determination of both partners to see the marriage work against all odds is important.
In a love marriage we choose a life partner of our own choice whereas in arrange marriage our parents search for an appropriate partner keeping in mind the societal rules regarding cast, family background, tenets and financial and social status of the family.
In the current scenario the youngsters of our society are up for love marriages rather than going for arrange marriages. The trends of our society have changed a lot from last few years. Youngsters of today believe that understanding between the couple before marriage is essential. They think that they should meet a couple of times before marriage in order to get to know each other. In a love marriage the couple meets for limited period of time and tries to delineate their best traits to each other. According to me couples, who say that they want to meet to know each other before marriage are mistaken and living in a fool’s paradise because I don't think one can come to know everything about the other person in short meetings, or over phone conversations or mails. How can anyone claim to know the other person unless and until he/she lives with that person? How one reacts in sardonic situation, how one behaves at different hours of the day etc cannot be understood in meetings when both the partners try their level best to show only their perfect traits.
The enduring base for marriage is the understanding that might not be produced promptly in arranged or love marriages but by knowing slowly about their partner.
Recent survey reveals that love marriages have more divorces than arranged marriages. I don't mean to say that one should only go for an arrange marriage and love marriage always fails, my point is; it does not matter whether it is love or arrange marriage, what matters is the commitment the two partners show in building up the relationship. Marriage is all about assimilating I of both the partners into a common WE.
It is said that everything has its pros and cons. Similarly for love marriage the problems mostly seen are caste issue, financial status and many others, whereas in arrange marriage dowry problem and status problem are common.
Actual life starts after marriage and responsibilities lie on both the partners to make the marriage work. In most of the cases love before marriage is not actual love but infatuation and attraction and when both the persons realize this after marriage, they start blaming each other. I have nothing against choice marriages but I think the decisions our wise and mature parents make and the partners they choose for us are much more appropriate. But also, no marriage is guaranteed to be successful unless the couple involved put in equal efforts and zeal to maintain the relationship. Whether it is arranged or chosen, mutual respect, trust, letting go, forgiving and understanding is all what matters. Love may overrule all the hurdles only when the couple is motivated to make the relationship work.
“All the fun starts after marriage; you learn to adjust and make sacrifices and compromises where ever elementary and try your level best to make the marriage work”